My Husband and St. Joseph

This post originally appeared on Annery at Home in December 2011.

When my husband rejoined the Church through his Confirmation eight years ago, he chose St. Joseph as his confirmation name.  Since St. Joseph is a model father and husband and our wedding was the next weekend, I think my husband felt that this was the best possible expression of who he hoped to be.

It strikes me now that my confirmation name, Azariah (the earthly name archangel Gabriel took in healing and helping humans) wasn't too far from my vocation in life either.  I, too, take on a different name and work to bring comfort and healing - Mom - I'll work on being more angelic.

As I have reflected this Advent on the coming birth of Jesus, it struck me how much my husband lives out the life of St. Joseph, this struck me especially when L and I were reading in our Advent book together and I explained that Joseph was the foster father of Jesus.

FOSTER father, hey, I know a guy who does that!  I imagine my conversation with my husband paralleling Mary's conversation with Joseph, in both cases the wife presents the advent of a child the husband wasn't planning on, that isn't his, and that the wife feels God has given her a call to bring into their family.  In both cases, the husband loving submits to the wife's call from God and abandons himself to the care of this child. 

I imagine the journey of Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem, the discomfort, the uncertainty.  Many of these same feelings arise in the process of fostering.  Thinking about Joseph taking on a child not his own really makes me think about my husband's fostering of Sweet Baby over the last 5 months.

Never once has he said, "this was your idea, you get up" or "why did you get me into this?".  He has embraced God's call to care for SB with every bit of intensity that I have.  He snuggles her and her eyes light up when she sees "Daddy". 

She is truly our baby in many ways.  We have sacrificed all the things a parent sacrifices when they bring a newborn home; sleep, energy, time, money.  We have given her all the love we would our own biological child.  She is the gift of this Christmas season in our family. 

Many times, I'm asked how we can love and attach to a child we know has every chance of returning to her biological home.  I think the biggest reason is that when God calls you to something, he gives you the grace for it.  All children are a gift from God and essentially "on loan".  There are no guarantees with any child you bring into your family.  SB reminds us of this much more than the average baby might, but I still see her as "our baby" for whatever length of time God entrusts her to us.  I truly believe that after 5 years of openness to another child in our family, God has given us the gift of the child we expect this Spring because of our openness to care for SB. 

As we move closer to Christmas, I am struck more and more by my husband living out the vocation of St. Joseph, caring for our foster daughter. 

I knew when I married him that he would be a good husband and father; that was an important part of my discernment of a spouse, but I couldn't have fully known then how much he would ungrudgingly go through with me. 

This year has truly been our flight into Egypt with layoffs and uncertainty, but we have had unexpected joy along with the way, and we wait in joyful hope for the coming of our miraculous gift May 30th.

Our First Placement

This post originally appeared on Annery at Home in September 2011

The pace of our lives is certainly different than last fall.

With all these changes, it's hard to recognize the steps along the way that led to this until I stop and start to rewind our year.  Last year at this time, my husband and I were waiting to start foster parent training.  Over the last couple weeks I've really been thinking about my husband's response to foster parenting.

Foster parenting is something I have felt called to do for a long time.  Last year, it became apparent that with our subfertility struggles, a baby of our own would not be in the picture for the year.....maybe some year.....God knows.  Because we haven't been able to have our own babies these last 5 years that we've been open, we had a space in our lives that would accommodate caring for other children. 

We received our first placement in July....a brand new baby straight from the hospital.  My husband has never once told me I needed to get up with her because this was my idea.  He has never once complained about having her in our lives.  Raising this baby for as long as we have her is not just my "project", my husband has jumped in with both feet and not looked back. 

This time has been such an amazing example of his generous spirit.  I knew when I married him that he would be a good husband and father, only God knew how truly impressive he would show himself to be these last 7 years. 

I am continually reminded through all the changes we've been through this year of the verse from Jeremiah...."for I know the plans I have for you....plans to prosper you, not to harm you.  To give you hope and a future"  If God had told me at the beginning of our lives together 7 years ago what was in store, I'm not sure I would have been able to walk through it without cringing and worrying about the next bad thing, I would have missed a lot of blessed moments.